Hi:)

 Alright sooo 

I don't even know where to start mis amigos....

Something that I have been thinking about a lot recently is how much the Lord is humbling me. And how I am allowing myself to be humbled. I am no Bueno at Español. It is super hard for me. I would wake up early and study just to prepare myself for class. I study my El Libro de Mormón every chance I get, and I still can't get a grasp at this language... why is this humbling? Because I typically learn incredibly fast. I can take a piece of knowledge and simply just remember it. It is why I enjoy Ted talks to much. They talk for 15 minutes on a subject they studied their whole life, and I can remember remember they taught me. 

But Spanish is different, I have to be the one researching. And it takes a lot of time, and energy. It is incredibly incredibly humbling haha. I don't know everything, and I don't know why I was called to speak Spanish in Utah. But I know the lord knows. And I will act in faith. I am simply trying my imperfect best. 

Something else I have been learning about is charity. Which is the pure love of Christ... 

Charity: suffereth long, is kind, envieth not, is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth in truth, beareth all things, hopeth all things, believeth all things, endureth all things, goes about seeking good, teaches the gospel, has tender compassion for the poor, afflicted, and distressed, it receives HIS love and shares it. This is the highest, noblest, strongest gift. 

"If attitudes, deeds, and spiritual inclinations reflected physical features, would the countenance of YOU, be as lovely as those you intentionally critique?" 

"If you judge people you have no time to love them" 

"To pity distress is human, to relieve it is godlike" 

Here are some random thoughts I had while studying my scriptures this week: 

- imagine seeing an angel face to face 

- Almas joy because of Shiloms righteousness is how i want my Heavenly Father to feel "I have such great joy in you" 

- "behold I did cry unto him and I did find peace unto my soul" - this is me everyday haha 

- "thou didst bear all things with patience because the Lord was with thee" 1. This is exactly who my mom is. Bearing all trials with patience and having faith in the Lord. (Pacienca y fe) 

- "they pray to be heard of man, and to be praised for their wisdom." I can not fathom God's knowledge... BUT relying on the wisdom of a man??? I don't think so 

- "But behold ye cannot hide your crimes from God: and except ye repent they will stand as a testimony of you at the last day" ...I think we all should be trembling after hearing that. However it reminded me of a wonderful quote... "[at judgement day] you are not judged by what you have done, but rather, who you have become". We all make mistakes. That is part of mortality. To expect perfection is to expect disappointment. However, when we try to do out best each day. When we try to let the love of Christ work in us, and change us for the better, that is what counts. God does not tally up our good and bad mistakes. Rather... he sees what our mistakes have made us to be. Someone who humbles themselves before God, and tries to do better. Or someone who let's their trials and mistakes harden their hearts. 

I had 2 tutoring sessions with Hermana Bliss this week. And in one of them we wrote on the board everything to be grateful for in Spanish. Let me share jsg a few

1. Las Escrituras 

2. Mi Madre

3. El amor de Dios

4. Dad, Brady, Aubrey, Christian, Shane, Vik, y malachi 

5. Jesucristo y su expiación

6. Mi Cuervo

7. las montañas 

8. Ellery, Haley, y Zach

9. la oportunidad de servir 

10. El Don del lenguas 

Okay and my favorite story for last!!

I have been feeling terrified to go out in the field and feel distracted with the pains of my past. I felt that I wouldn't be able to be all that God needs me to be. And today we had a "helping others" (which is where you practice teaching the lesson in your assigned language). And wow... my companion Hermana Nase spoke by the power of God. I could literally see a glow around her head, and I almost started to cry because I knew what she was saying is true. During this lesson i had thoughts come into my mind, I translated these thoughts in the moment, and then she asked a question. A question pertaining exactly what I had already translated. She asked why bad things happen to good people. And I already have an answer for that in English "simply, to make good people, great people". I know it is small but the Lord knew i needed that. And she needed that. The spirit was so strong. I know i spoke by the power of the Holy ghost, and I was gifted in that moment, the gift of tongues. 

I have been pondering a lot why I am called to serve. Why me? But it is because I am called to love. That is it. Not to convert. Not to be perfect in Spanish. But called to love God's children. The ones Christ redeemed, and the ones looking to better know their redeemer. I know i can love others the way that Christ does. And I know that if there is something God needs me to say, he will help me be able to say it, like i did today. And it will all be okay. I know that now. And i am grateful for this wisdom" 

Also...knowledge does not become wisdom until it is put into action. You can study for 8 years how to be a surgeon, but you are not one until you start the surgery. You can know everything about being athletic if you study it, but you are not an athlete until you act on it. You can know everything about the gospel of Jesus Christ, but you are not a disciple until you act as the savior. 

Also SHOUT OUT TO BRADY AND ELLLEERRYYYY HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUUUYYYYYSSS!!!